That old diary...(an impact on life )

It is very noisy outside.. heard a sound of a dumper coming.. "uff this society and these people why everyone is a noise lover here!!!" seems like some renovation work is going on in society. "Lets clean my room first otherwise my mom is gonna kill me .. lets start with arranging my almirah first." i went to my almirah by thinking this in my mind .  As i opened my almirah so many of things fell out on me, it felt like tsunami of  so many things like books, pen, papers, writing pads ,some empty refills, some caps without pen, eraser .crushed papers , polybags school bag and .. an old diary ..

                                                   i  found an old diary today.. that reminds me of an old optimistic school girl. who was full of life. full of energy and enthusiasm. far from this mean world All protected and a ready to fly bird. She was so sure about her future and she was in a age where everything seems to have a happy ending in last.A bird who is very confident about her first fly.. having no fear but extra confidence about everything .
                                                      Pages of this diary have turned yellow now . there was a time when these pages were so elegant and white. And i was so exited to write on it. Its like a whole life has been settled here between these pages . This time which changed the colour of these pages, has changed everything now, but not just the colour. It feels like this diary is asking me that ,why i left her like this .. like its asking me "why did you buy me? have you forgotten the time when you used to spend hours writing on me.. there was nobody to listen your sorrows but, me."  
                                                                       Only a writer can feel that pain of creases on his/her pages. No writer can see scratches on their diary. when it comes to me, my diary is not just a non living object to write on it.. it is like my audience in itself. My own audience.. which listen my every single word.. my audience which gives me space to write.. space to think and inspiration to spread it in all over the world.
                          i feel guilty that i left her alone for such a long time. when i was an old optimistic school girl. sure the things have been changed now , sure i am not the same girl now i don't have that much optimism in my vision now because now experience is there. and when experience comes in excitement goes out because durability and serenity takes its place .
                           "I regret that i left you my diary.. but now you are in my life again.. your yellow pages does not matter for me.. no matter how old you are going to be some day.. you will always be my first love , my first audience, my life ..... My diary ... My Old Diary . :)


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